My Unique Family Story: The Only Child with Half-Siblings

A big ass softie I have proven to be

For those who know me, I'm the only child in my family – well, technically. The twist here is that I do have half-siblings, but we've never crossed paths. I hold onto the hope that someday our paths might actually cross. But for now, I'm the only one directly between my parents, if you catch my drift.

Growing up, I became a pro at the art of solitude. I've pretty much been flying solo my entire life. But don't feel sorry for me.  Honestly, it's not all that bad. I do have cousins, but we're not exactly close-knit. Some of them live miles and miles away, while others are still in their teenage years, a good 13 years younger than me

There's this cousin I thought we were pretty tight, you know, like really good friends. I even introduced her to some of my friends in Nigeria to talk to. But one day, during a heated argument with her dad, she said some really mean stuff about me. In Yoruba terms she used me to “ko body”. He got all worked up and sent those messages to my mom. I accidentally stumbled upon those messages, and you know what? I made up my mind right then and there – it's better for me to keep my distance. And trust me, I'm not second-guessing that decision and probably never will because I don't like wahala.

I'm not as connected with my uncles and aunt as I had hoped to be. Unfortunately, during a challenging period in my life, the one family member I thought I'd be close to distanced themselves from me, and our dynamics changed from that point on.

I've only had brief conversations with my half-siblings once or twice, and I can honestly say that talking to them was quite bittersweet and painful. I had numerous unanswered questions, some unwarranted resentment,(not at them) and a persistent feeling of sadness that I am unsure won’t resurface do we get the chance to speak again.

Fortunately, I do have one cousin I share a close bond with, to the extent that I consider her more of a sister. She's the only family member in my age group whom I'm close to at the moment.

For those who know me well, they'd tell you that I have a strong bond with my mom and my granny. Yet, there are moments when I contemplate the future, picturing them growing old and eventually passing away, leaving me behind. It's a reality I can't escape, but I never truly realized just how alone I might feel when that time comes, particularly given that I'm not as close to my other relatives as I'd like to be. People might say, "Why not reach out to them?" Well, let me tell you, we've drifted so far apart that the only conversation starter left is, "How are you? How's the weather over there?" The age and distance gap between us doesn't make it any easier either.

You know, I've got this little obsession - a totally healthy one, I promise - with the idea of having a big, bustling family. I call it my clan dream. When I was just a wee kid, I used to wish my mom could adopt more kids, but that idea got shelved because, let's be real, I was already a handful.

While my friends were dreaming of becoming doctors, engineers, or lawyers, all I ever wanted was to have a family. It might have seemed like I lacked ambition, but that's the dream that's stuck with me through thick and thin. Picture this: a cozy house, a loving sensible husband, and five adorable kids running around, bringing joy to our lives. Simple, right? Well, until I took a little trip to the labor room, and let's just say it changed my perspective on birthing five kiddos the natural way. The whole experience had my poor, old vagina almost broken.  You know what, let's just say it was a memorable adventure!

Now, here's the plot twist: when I become fabulously wealthy (fingers crossed!)I'm totally up for adopting a lot of kids. I even catch myself daydreaming about it - me surrounded by this beautiful mix of little ones, teaching them, loving them, and watching them grow. Both my own biological kids and those I'd adopt would be part of this big, loving family I've always imagined.

You see, being an only child has its perks - it's made me independent and kind of like a warm, motherly soul. But here's the bittersweet part: sometimes, I've shared this generous, caring side of me with the wrong folks - you know, those who love to take and take without giving much in return. Lesson learned, I guess!
(Still learning o, let me not lie)

But hey, I haven't given up hope! If time and fate allow, I'm still holding out for that moment when I strike it rich and build my dream clan. Already, I have one shining star in my clan - none other than the world-famous Jamjam. She's the kind of person who can turn my frowns into laughter, even though she's got this wild birthday wish of wanting a whole plot of land in Banana Island for her friends for her birthday party pack.  I am collecting donations to this effect. Thank you very much.

Sincerely,

Damie “Clan Connoisseur” Ibegbu