Beauty Fades, Character Stays

Ehen now

A friend of mine recently asked me why I am still single. I mean, I meet a lot of guys, so why can't I pick one and be happy.  While I do want to be in a romantic relationship, I am not desperate, and I will take my time if necessary. Yes, you may take your time and be as thorough as possible and still wind up with a jerk, but at least let it be known that I attempted to sift through the options and make the best decision possible.

Do I have a spec? Well, I don't think I do. Yes, I want a tall man, and I adore a man who knows how to dress well (particularly in traditional attire). Take all my money. I appreciate a man that smells well and has a good sense of humor.

It is easy to discover a beautiful person to be your partner, but do they have substance and character? He's tall and handsome, but he treats others badly. She has a large ass and is curvaceous, yet she is inconsiderate to your emotions. While physical appearance is significant, a person's character is the most important factor. While you can't know a person's true character because it may have been hidden for a long time, you can see bits and pieces of it. And this is why getting to know your partner before you date them is beneficial. Friendship provides insight into a person because there is no romantic commitment and everyone (or at least some people) can be themselves. From there, you can see if there's a red flag and decide whether you can handle it or not.

So, yes, I want a tall and gorgeous partner, but can you be attentive to my feelings and others'? Do you believe in God? Are you thoughtful? Do you know how to apologize when you've made a mistake, as well as when you haven't? Are you willing to make compromises? Are you capable of being honest and straightforward? Is it possible for you to devote yourself solely to me? Do you assist with household chores? Do you place a high priority on your family and relationships? How easy is it to de-escalate a conflict? Etc. Not every time “good boy/girl and vibes."  Do you have a goal in mind for your life, and eventually ours? I'm not claiming I've figured out where I want to go with my life, but I have an idea and I'm working towards that. Many people make their decisions based on sexual prowess or physical characteristics. All of these, as you can see, may be worked on right away. Character, on the other hand, is much more difficult to break.

So, yes, I'm single. Am I enjoying it? No, but I'm going to take my time. I'm going for substance over beauty. Even as friends, I've met good looking men with the most repulsive characteristics, ranging from being toxic to being disrespectful and narcissistic to plain insensitive. Imagine what would happen if they became lovers. Yes, you can claim that he or she will treat you differently than other people, but that is not the case. It's only a matter of time before they treat you horribly if they can't treat humans properly.

Always remember, beauty fades but character stays.

From the Chairperson of the #STS gang, Yaba Chapter,

Peace, Love, Light 💛💜